17: Tony Robbins' Top Field Sales Rep Eli Wilde - It's Not Motivation, It's Conditioning

0:08 Scott Ingram: You're listening to the Sales Success Stories podcast, where we deconstruct world-class sales performers to provide insights and strategies to help you improve. To learn more, visit us at top1.fm. Here's your host, Scott Ingram.

0:25 Scott Ingram: Today on the Sales Success Stories podcast, my guest is Eli Wilde, who is the top seller… has been the top seller in the Tony Robbins organizations for many years. Eli, welcome to the show.

0:35 Eli Wilde: Thank you, Scott.

0:38 Scott Ingram: So we're going to start like we always do with the top 3 things that have put Eli at the top of the game. And the reason we do this, we really try and front-load the value of the episode before we get into the, the deep backstory, which in Eli's case is particularly interesting. And these conversations tend to be long, so it's also a nice way that you can get some insights and a great way to review and refresh if you want to go back to previous episodes and hear what those top 3 things were from some of the other guests. So Eli, for you, what have been the top 3 things that have really enabled all of your success?

1:13 Eli Wilde: Well, the first one that's coming to mind now is just the experience. I went to Tony Robbins' event in 2005 for the first time, and I was in such a bad place, and it really shifted a lot in me. And so I had such an amazing experience. I was such a raving fan of the product. Um, you know, and 10, 12 years ago when I started working for Tony, he's so known and so popular now that people compare Tony to Les Brown, Zig Ziglar, Tom Hopkins. There were salespeople, Brian Tracy, but Tony, you know, he's, he's become a real legend. And some of that's due to marketing now. And he's got a new book out and he's got the thing with Oprah. And so he's really positioned himself differently. But years ago I was such a, a raving fan. And I think to be really successful selling anything, you have to believe in the product. And, you know, it's, there's a difference between, you know, having, having a job versus a career versus a mission. And so I didn't just wanna sell people tickets and I didn't wanna just make money. I mean, that's, that's all great. And I didn't wanna just be number one and stand out and get attention from Tony. Um, you know, cuz I had, I wanted to get his attention, um, which, you know, I wanted all that, but more than anything, I wanted to, uh, you know, change the world independent of Tony. I wanted to make a big difference in the world. And I saw him as a vehicle. I saw his seminars and his product. As a vehicle to help make the world better. So I think some of it comes from just, you know, being on a mission. And some people out there listening right now might have a mission to do their own thing. Uh, with every sales job I've ever had, I've, I've had this vision for myself that was really, it really made me hunker down and focus on the skills cuz I knew that everything that I was doing was building me to the next thing. So I, It's hard to kind of encapsulate all that, but I would say mission and vision would be the first thing.

2:57 Scott Ingram: Cool. I love that. And what's… we're going to be digging pretty deep into some of these other things as we go through the conversation. So I know we'll get a little bit more behind the scenes and what it was about that show and what you were thinking as you thought about how you'd align yourself with Tony, which obviously has come true and continues to come true. What's the next thing?

3:18 Eli Wilde: Uh, the second thing I'd say, you know, preparation. I, after a year of working for Tony's company, I was, I'd done really well. And, um, Tony's son wanted to join the company. And, um, you know, and Jarek is amazing. And Jarek was really amazing. He had a coaching background, but I had kind of a performance background and, and, and a bit of a sales background. I was, I was an actor. And so I really got it in my bones about performance and what we did out there every day. It was great to speak and perform. But I really took it seriously. So my presentations, I, it was like theater to me. And, you know, I'm sure you've heard of actors like Anthony Hopkins that reads the script 100 times before he does it. I was always looking for the nuances and I was just, I, I guess this, this, this preparation would be, would key, be key number 2. Um, this discipline around preparation is what really helped me. So I, I really wanted to be associated and I didn't wanna just do some generic presentation. I did the, did the preparation work, meaning, I thought about who was in the room and I didn't just go through a canned speech. I made sure that I was emotionally connected, connected to first my own certainty, connected to the clients. So I felt a real connection with them. And then third, I was connected to this higher purpose, to this place that I was taking them where they might not even be able to see where they were going to go in their life. But I had a vision for them because so many people, as you know, wander aimlessly. And I said, you know, if people can't find a purpose for their life, I'm just gonna let them borrow mine for an hour. And they're gonna have an experience of what it feels like. So I think the, the preparation of just being emotionally available, um, which, which is the hardest work. It's, you know, it's pretty easy to memorize a script or a few closes, but to make yourself emotionally available consistently, uh, takes, takes hard work and dedication. And I never took it for granted because we all have days where we feel beat down and we get the nose and we put our heart and soul into something. But to discipline your disappointments and to really make sure that you're emotionally available, I would say would be be key number 2. Um, so I don't know what you'd call that emotional availability preparation. I just really thought about who those people were. And then the 3rd thing that really kind of, um, stood out to me going back to, uh, living with Jarek, you know, that's, I'm living with Tony's son at the time and I was so competitive. I knew that he was going to be very good because he actually had some great coaching from his father, but I, but I knew that I had to beat him. And so, I figured whatever he was doing, like I had to be even more disciplined. I had to work even harder. So I, I think it's the third thing would be just surrounding yourself with people that are the best. And then quickly after I became, you know, really successful in that organization, I started to find other mentors or other, I wouldn't even say mentors. I'd say peers, people that I met that were very, very much more successful than me, but I quit seeing them as mentors and I saw them as peers. So, There's, you know, it's a common analogy to, you know, have a strong peer group. But before I had the money to connect with the peers that I have now, I made mental constructs. I, I had these, these relationships with these people that only existed in my head. And so then when I went out there to face the day every day, I felt like I had this mastermind and this peer group. Napoleon Hill talks a lot about that. Um, this kind of imaginary thing that you have to build for yourself when you're in really times of challenge. But, um, I, I created these relationships and then later, later on and now I've pretty much every person that I wanted to connect with inside of my head years ago is now in my cell phone. So, uh, something to all that.

6:39 Scott Ingram: That's really awesome. And what does that actually look like? Like, were you sitting down and really spending time with, with your, you know, future connections? Like what, what was that? What, in the way that it manifested itself?

6:53 Eli Wilde: You know, it starts out just focusing on your breath and, you know, thinking about the challenge that you have and feeling this, this indecision. And we've all been at that crossroads in our life. But for me, I, you know, it's, there's the, uh, me and my, my friends used to make the joke, you know, what would Tony do? WWTD, you know, what would Tony do? And then I think, you know, it's like, well, what would Tony do? And, and I, and I would imagine like if he was in the situation, what would he do? And, and it was almost like, I guess, 'cause I had been conditioned to just hear so many audios of him that, um, I really thought about what he would do in that situation. And then I thought about other people and it was, and it was like a different point of view. And, you know, I, I thought about if I was in a different country and I just, I thought about the circumstances of my life and other people's ways, like what kind of advice would they give them? Um, so I, I really just let my mind go on a tangent. And I got some really great advice from it. And I've talked to Tony about that, which is interesting. It's something he did as well.

7:51 Scott Ingram: Very interesting. So before I continue the conversation with Eli, I wanna give a quick shout out to my friends at nudge.ai because they're the ones who made this show possible from the beginning. So if you're enjoying the show, do us both a favor and get the new free Chrome extension from Nudge and see what AI applied to your relationships can do for your sales results. If you go to top1.fm/nudge, or you can actually go to top1.fm forward slash NC, as in Nudge Chrome, and that'll take you straight to the download page for the Chrome extension. And you can learn a lot more by giving a listen to the bonus episode I just did with Steve Woods to hear more about their really fascinating backstory and vision. So speaking of backstory, Eli, why don't we go there next? Because I often ask my guests how they got into sales and what their origin story is, and, and that may have particular meaning for you. And in your case, why don't we go a little bit further back? Because your, your history is really, Sure.

8:50 Eli Wilde: Well, I, I moved from Maryland after I graduated school, and just like everybody else, needed a job. But I ended up moving out to Colorado, and I was a financial advisor for a little while for like a really unknown company. And it was my first, you know, a sales job. You get your licenses, and then you go to the mall and try to talk to people. I didn't know anybody, and it's really tough. And I was dating a girl who was a lot more successful than me. You, you could say in, in every way, just much more evolved human being. And, um, it made me wanna really step up my game, but I, I saw how tough it was and I, I saw the need to, to really learn some skills around communication and, um, to get people to engage in me. So I, I got some success, but then I, I ended up leaving that job and I, I took some time and I just actually, I lived in a tent, um, and I hiked the Rocky Mountains of Colorado for about 9 months. And during that time I would, uh, do promotional modeling. For like, um, you know, different agencies around Denver. And then, uh, after that time was up, I moved to California and I started doing a little bit of, um, a little bit of acting. And so I was getting familiar then with the whole process of scripts and your language and listening and responding and, uh, and being engaged. And then I ended up getting a job, um, at a company called Discus Dental. And I actually just had lunch today with Robert Heyman, who is, you know, he's obviously a mentor, but he's, he's the guy I worked for that company. It's a dental company. They sold out a few years ago. Him and a guy named Bill Dorfman, who's kind of like the dentist to the stars, Brad Pitt, Liam Neeson, you know, he does, does all these teeth. And so being around those 2 guys and befriending them was really, really transitional in my, in my growth and development. I had so much respect and Just admiration of who they were. I, I just wanted to stand out. And, uh, you know, both of them are intimidating men, especially Robert. And when he would walk across the sales floor, everybody would get scared. But I remember just making beelines for him and, you know, asking him all these questions. And we had the, not the internet, but the intranet where we were all connected. And, um, I remember he sent out an email one day and I was like, oh my God, I have access to this guy. So I would just ask him all these questions about business every week. It was like clockwork. And then we started working out in the mornings at Gold's Gym in Venice at 5 in the morning. So, uh, he, he helped me have some routines there, but, um, that's, that's really when my sales career kind of started. I was consistently the top person there too. And not because I had any extra skill, it was just, just a lot of hard work.

11:20 Scott Ingram: Yeah. Nice. I thought you might actually go a little bit further back. Um, just talking about how you grew up and some interesting things that may have happened in your childhood.

11:29 Eli Wilde: You know, uh, grew up on the Eastern Shore of Maryland, and if you've been there, it's, it's not a, it's not a great, you know, like fancy place. I, I live in Beverly Hills now. It's, it's, you know, you couldn't be any further away, but, um, just real small, like agricultural town. Uh, we grew up very, very poor, you know, as I'm sure is the consistent theme that you hear a lot. And I think that, that when people grow up really poor, it puts a hunger in you for things and a better way of life. And my mom worked at a country club. And so it was really, you know, just interesting to me. She couldn't always afford daycare. So I would go after school to this little apartment upstairs and I got to see, um, you know, firsthand these, uh, you know, class differences first, you know, you know, upper class versus upper middle versus, you know, definitely on the low, low end. Uh, I, I don't think my mom's ever, you know, she had never made like more than $14,000 in a year. Um, so we, we always kind of roughed it and my, my dad got put in a wheelchair when I was very young. And, um, so he didn't, didn't really work. And so, uh, you know, things were pretty tough and, and I'm sure again, that's a common theme, but what's not common is when we were, you know, kind of on our, our last dollar, if you will, my mom took that dollar and decided to buy a lottery ticket of all things. And, uh, which, which I don't condone now even, but, um, but she happened to win $7 million with that, that dollar. And, um, it, it started to shift some things for us. So, I, I often talk about in my own seminars about how our beliefs come from experiences. And I, I think that happening to me at such a critical point in my life, um, created a, a belief in me that, that magic can happen. And, um, I, to all the ones that, you know, may hear that and think that's kind of like, oh, well, you're not gonna win the lottery or whatever. I, I tell people, hey, that's true. You're probably not. So we need to learn how to create magic for ourselves. And that's kind of a, a theme in, in the things that I teach.

13:16 Scott Ingram: Nice. Talk about your role in the Tony Robbins organization and how you got to be at the top there.

13:23 Eli Wilde: You know, I went to the event obviously in 2005 and it was just really amazing and I made so many shifts and I remember just being in such a dark place in my life and it just shifted everything. I was just vibrating on such a different level and I didn't want to let it go. And if you've ever been to any kind of transformational seminar, Um, even Tony, he's, he's the best in my opinion. Like it's the best transformational work, but you get that, that 2-week buzz where you're just like invincible. And then, you know, you kind of come back to reality, the high kind of wears off. And so I didn't want to let it go. And, um, I wanted to not just understand his principles, but I wanted to immerse myself. And so I, I contacted the company and it was, it was a real process just to get anybody on the phone. Um, because everybody's trying to sell you stuff and they're all salespeople and there's really no way to connect with like HR or anything. But when I was there, I kind of had the vision then and I got people's, you know, contacts and cards and I just followed up like crazy. I actually called the company probably about 400 times in about 2, 3 weeks, um, before I got the right person on the phone and they gave me, uh, gave me an interview and, um, they basically gave me a script and told me not to mess it up. And when I came back to The office, it was a very different environment than it is today, but it was just some people setting meetings and some coaches and things like that, but relatively small. And I came down there and I did a presentation and I rocked it. I think it was the best they'd ever seen. And I ended up getting a job doing outside sales presentations.

14:55 Scott Ingram: And where did that evolve? I mean, what does it take to be number one in an organization where I would imagine there's maybe a higher than average number of overachievers?

15:05 Eli Wilde: Well, it's like, not to knock anybody that works for the company, but most people have the same experience that I did where they go to an event and they are caught up in the Tony Robbins magic. And it is truly magical. Have you been to a Tony Robbins event?

15:24 Scott Ingram: I have. Yep.

15:25 Eli Wilde: Yeah. And he's just very this charismatic leader and he's so powerful and you have such an experience there. And I could tell a lot of these people, had that experience. And most of the people that become speakers like myself, or, you know, what we're called was FSRs, field sales reps, um, you know, they want to be like Tony. They want to be speakers and they want to be, you know, performers. I even came from that background, but I knew to make a difference that I needed to be a person that produces results. So I, I was just… so I, I guess I was more committed to the vision than my own significance. I wanted to be to be significant. If you're familiar with Tony's 6 Human Needs, I want… I, all top salespeople have an ego. The ones that I've met, you can be nice and altruistic and all that, but they wanna be the best. And so I saw the path to be the best was by giving the most and really learning some skills around sales. I didn't just wanna be a speaker. I didn't wanna be a speechmaker. I wanted to go in, I wanted to challenge people. I wanted to challenge people's beliefs. I wanted to grow some real emotional muscle. I wanted to put myself on the line every day. And, um, what, what got me there and what kept me there was just, was just that, um, just that relentless attitude to not really focus on the numbers so much. Cuz you know, sales is a numbers game and all that, but I was just, I was so committed. I was in it. Um, and so I was just, like I said, conditioned emotionally. And the things that Tony did to prep himself for those big seminars, I did every day. The incantations, you know, this just the, psychological work to make sure that I'm showing up every day for something bigger than myself.

16:56 Scott Ingram: And I mean, was it… I'm curious about the work that you did, particularly early on, to lay that foundation. I mean, was it really just that kind of massive adoption of Tony's principles that gave you that foundation? Was there more to it? Like, where else did you go to get the sales foundation that you built for yourself that obviously took you a long ways?

17:21 Eli Wilde: You know, the, the 2 parts to that answer is this one, you know, like I said, when I went to Tony's event, I was in just a really dark place. I was, you know, partying a lot, doing drugs, like hanging out with just crazy people. And so I, for me, Tony Robbins was like a life raft and, you know, it was just, so I, I gripped onto his principles, like, you know, for survival. And so I, I think they went deeper into my nervous system than somebody else might have, just because of the emotional connection that I built for myself around his principles and the desire to share that. So I think from that, I wanted to learn Tony's… all of Tony's processes. And now I have a course coming out soon on influence. But when I started to peel back through all of Tony's stuff, he said that the first skill that he really mastered was influence. You know, he did the job that I had for Tony, you know, and I helped out with now and still help out But he, um, he did that for Jim Rohn. And so I just started modeling everything that he did. And he came out, I think it was 2006, with a program called Mastering Influence, which was, uh, originally called Power to Influence. And it was his sales course. So I got that thing, I went through it like 100 times, and I just practiced and rehearsed. And then I started reading other books. And when you're doing 2 to 3 seminars a day, booking your own meetings, you've got an assistant, all that handed to you initially, you get to have a lot of practice. So I would do one-on-ones, I would meet people at Starbucks. I was trying to build and fill my calendar. And so I just wanted to get the practice. So I was more attached again to the result, and I knew that I needed to get in the reps.

18:59 Scott Ingram: And if you were starting over today and maybe the resources are different a few years later, is there anything that you would've done differently? Wow.

19:09 Eli Wilde: Um, well, I think to do what I did is what everybody should do. Find somebody that can be kind of your mentor. And even if you don't get the opportunity to, to work with them directly, like I didn't with Tony for, for quite a while. Um, but to see somebody not just in the skills that they, they obviously have, but just in their mindset. So I wanted to model Tony's character. So I, I think that if I was to do it today, um, You know, I, I, I get asked that question a lot and I would tell people to do some of the work that I did before I was into sales. I mean, I, I had taken acting classes, so I was really, uh, I really got really comfortable with saying people saying no, like putting my heart and soul into a script that aren't even my words and, and getting rejected time and time again. So I think that that helps you overcome rejection and helps you overcome fear. Helps you overcome judgment. And I would take a, I took improv classes as well, which teaches you to be in the moment and spontaneous. And, you know, sales, we all wanna be, you know, professional and we all wanna put our products out there. Some products you can be a little more loose than others, but, um, I, I think that when you can be funny and you can, you know, catch people off guard and you can create relationships and you understand and you can really feel that tangible emotion between 2 human beings when they connect and recreate that. I think mastering that. So I would say to people starting now that they should do something around performance as well if they're going to be speaking in front of people.

20:40 Scott Ingram: It's an interesting idea. I'm curious, what was it? It sounds like it took a while for you to really connect with and build the relationship that you have with Tony today. What did, what did that take? How did that come about?

20:53 Eli Wilde: Well, it's… I'm trying to kind of like edit everything down, though. I'm just giving you the Cliff Notes of everything. But I worked for Tony for About 3 years. And then I left the company, got back into acting, and I got actually in a dance show was like the first major thing that I booked. And there was a billboard of me in Times Square for this hunky Santa, sexy Santa thing. And, uh, and you know, I actually took what I learned from Tony and started to market myself. I, I was on the COVID of, uh, some magazines and I got, um, I was on a billboard all around LA and billboards in Vegas, billboards in New York City, like I said, but I took that picture because so many people saw it and I, I took like 1,000, um, I, I, I joined a company called SendOutCards, which is like a multilevel marketing network marketing thing. And I took this picture of me that was on a billboard and I sent 1,000 of these postcards out to different casting directors, um, managers, agents around Los Angeles. And from that, I got some, you know, coffee meetups. I, I got some meetings, I got some interviews and I booked some TV shows and, uh, I created a lot of friendships off that. People that are still my friend today. And so I, I learned that marketing piece and my career started to take off a little bit. But, you know, in that area of my life, I didn't have the same disciplines. I was, you know, staying out late, not rehearsing as much. And the one area of my life that I let slip was really just my health. I had, uh, was a fitness model at the same time as well. And I was living on energy drinks and protein bars and just, just mutilating my health, like hardly sleeping, drinking at night. And, uh, living on like No Xplode or Rockstar or whatever these drinks were. And, um, really just burnt myself out. And then my, my, my back just kind of like gave out, um, from, I think just the, the abuse, the adrenal, adrenal glands blew out. I ended up with something called Epstein-Barr, which is like, um, it's like, uh, what is it called? Mono, where you basically just need to sleep. But I just, I just tried to push through it even more. And, um, Eventually my, you know, my adrenals burnt out. My immune system got so compromised that I ended up getting a parasite and the parasite nearly about nearly killed me. And I didn't tell anybody what was going on with me. And I was really sick. And then Scott Humphrey, who's Tony's brother-in-law, actually called me one day just to check in. And he's always trying to, he was trying to like recruit me to come back to work for the company. And I said, hey, this is where I'm at. And I've gone through all my money and I've never been in such a bad place. And I've been in some bad places. And, uh, he actually flew me out to Date with Destiny and I connected with Tony there. And Tony's wife, a lot of people don't know this, she was a hospice, she did hospice for a while and she was a naturopath. And, you know, basically I talked to a lot of doctors and everybody and they were just like, oh my God, you're so screwed. And so I, uh, I just felt awful. And, um, I just kind of like laid there for the next… Date with Destiny was in December and I felt awful and I connected with Scott and some of the… and I said, well, gimme a couple months and I will. And it wasn't like 100% I was going to, and I had a few other options and just work from home stuff. But I said, you know what? I'll do it. And that, that February, um, Tony decided to do an influence sales bootcamp. And out of all the transformational work, this sales training that he did, um, it was the weekend of February 4th and 5th, I believe. Um, or maybe like it was beginning of February 2010. And, uh, he did the sales training and, um, it was, I had, I, and at this point I'd never actually had a conversation with Tony. Um, I figured he didn't even know who I was, but I went to this training and it was so, so transformational for me. And, um, a lot of people have seen Tony, 10,000 people and, you know, in front of a room and this guy can just pierce the moment. But if you've never seen Tony mad, it is like the energy in this man. Uh, it is, it is unbelievable. I went to this sales training and he was working with a woman, uh, that worked for the company and she was just so in her own story. And long story short, she ended up getting fired, but she was just, she was just so pathetic in her psychology. And like a lot of people that worked for, you know, Tony's company back then, they came there just like I did initially. And like a lot of people to be around Tony, not there to serve. And this was, this woman was purely about herself. And Tony was so frustrated dealing with her. And he, you know, you could tell he was, she was really trying his patience. And then you saw him angry and he, they let her go. But you know what, what really set it off was he asked her the question. He says, by the way, what do you do for me? Like, how the frick did you ever get a job here? And she says, I'm a coach. And he lost it. I, and my respect went up for him so much. You really heard his standard. You heard what he was all about. And At the end of this just 20-minute berating by Tony Robbins, and she's in the front row, he's just ripping into this woman. Uh, there is a weird energy in the room. It's like, it felt, it felt like people got shot. And, uh, so he said, let's take a break, 20-minute break. Everybody comes back into the room and he said, you know, somebody come up front because at this point nobody is sitting in like the first several rows because it was just this energy there of a Tony Robbins explosion.

25:59 Scott Ingram: Splash zone.

26:00 Eli Wilde: Yeah, just really just crazy. And he says, oh, nobody wants the effing set up front now. Somebody get the eff up here. And he's still got that energy in him. And so I sprint up towards the front, and as I'm sitting down, he goes, you, what's your name? Why are you here? And he… that was our first words to each other. And my, my response, um, instigated a, you know, 20, 30-minute conversation the 2 of us in front of the room. And, uh, it's a lot of back and forth. And he used me that weekend as kind of like an example. And, um, at the end of our, our little banter back and forth and talking and him basically just berating me and ripping me apart with questions, at the end of our, our exchange, he said to everybody in the company, he says, um, he says, he says, this is what the company's all about. This is what the company stands for. He says, um, you know, if you want an example to follow of how to be in this company, Follow Eli. And it just edified me to be edified by somebody who is literally my hero. You know, it's like to be edified by somebody that, you know, I had never… so many people wanted to connect with Tony and get their picture with Tony and, you know, shake Tony's hand. I never… I felt like if I did that, I'd be pulling him away from his mission. So I never approached him in a way, and I never asked him for anything. I lived with his son and I never, never made… and I had some direct connections with Tony that were even stronger than his son, where I could go be in the same place that he was, um, or meet him or shake his hand. I never wanted to take anything away. And I just saw him as a man on his mission. And, uh, when we connected that day, it was just, it was authentic and real. And we connected in front of a group and he edified me. And at the end of that weekend, after he did this training, he announced to the room that he was going to do like a contest, something that he hadn't ever done, where you would get to go to his resort in Fiji. And, you know, All paid for. And, you know, and if you like broke this like mega record and did this whole crazy thing and like broke this record, like, like knocked it out of the park, then you got to stay in his, basically his old house, um, which is the nicest room, gets the award in the whole South Pacific. Um, the nicest resort, the nicest room, uh, the nicest experience that you can have. And he says, whoever, like, if you break this mega record, you'll get to stay in my old house where, you know, it's now this room and you get to bring a guest and it's all like, you know, And extra money and just, you know, basically just the whole, the whole nine. And, uh, I, I said right then, I said, I'm, I'm gonna win that thing. And that year, uh, in 2010, I was still really sick. Um, so I decided I was gonna win and I knew what it would take. And, uh, I worked, I worked typically like 4 days a week and then I just laid in bed the other 3 days of the week, or, or I laid in the hospital bed cuz, uh, they were still doing lots of tests on me. Thought they thought I might have cancer. They thought I had a lot of things because I was just so beat up, but I put my heart and soul into everything I had that year. I worked as hard as I could for 4 days a week, but that process of knowing that I had less energy than everybody else, I knew I needed to be twice as disciplined with my food, everything. And, um, you know, and that, that I created some of my own frameworks and my own kind of process around that. When, when you don't have any money and no time and no energy and you've kind of just hit rock bottom, um, that was my 2010. And so long story short, I worked, uh, less than everybody else and I, and I didn't work, um, the first 3 months of the year. So I started working, um, in March is when I actually started working. So I, it was a sales contest and I was already in the hole 3 months. And then that year, um, I didn't even work a full week any of the weeks cuz of, cuz of my condition. And despite those chance, those, those circumstances, I ended up working less than half, um, as everybody else. And I was still the top person in the company. So Tony not only took me to Fiji, um, where we got to like eat, play golf together every, you know, every day and eat dinner every day and, and just hang out and, and ask him like every question I've ever wanted to ask a person. You know, I felt bad at times asking him all these stupid questions. Now I look back on it, but, uh, you know, he was so patient and kind and warm. And, um, at, at the end of that year, he decided to create an award. Um, and now, you know, whoever has the biggest impact in his companies every year, uh, gets an award that he created basically in my name. Um, so that, that I think that, you know, the long story short, I know it's a long story, but, uh, it's just that he saw something in me that I think that he recognized in himself. And when you're out there trying to get peers or connect with somebody, I knew even with Robert, who I met with today, he's, you know, I think he's 58. He's the same age as Tony. Uh, you know, I think for me being a young guy, when we connected, uh, he saw some part of himself in me. And when you don't have experience and you don't have money and you don't have like much of anything, um, all you have is your emotions and your values. And some people will connect with you and you can build, you can build a business based on that. You can build connections based on that. And that's, that's the one thing I had. And I made sure that I utilized that asset the best that I could.

30:51 Scott Ingram: Yeah, that's, that's awesome. Well, it was a long answer, but you took me through about my next 3 questions cuz I do like to ask, Where's the high point, right? What's what's the best of and and what's the lowest and how did you get through? And I think you I think you knocked all of that out. But I'm really curious. I mean, you've obviously had a lot of conversations with Tony. What is the the most interesting question you've asked him or or maybe the most interesting response that's come about from from those conversations?

31:19 Eli Wilde: Some things that the conversation I'm just one's popping in my mind right now. It's like. It's around, uh, some, let's just say a mistake I made where, uh, I, I'd said some things to some people within an organization where I felt like they were out of line. And my response to them being out of line was completely out of line. And, um, where, you know, I, I could have been fired over it. You know, it just, I, I said some things that were very, uh, very heated and, uh, and, and just in all the wrong ways and how Tony dealt with it and how he dealt with me. And, um, I'll, I'll tell you the, the gist of what he, what he did. They gave me the options to basically, um, resign, uh, to take, I think it was a, uh, 2-week leave of absence where I would work but not get paid, um, or just a 3-week or, or just like a week leaves of absence, something like that. So it was a few different scenarios and I obviously chose to work. And, um, and give up my pay. And, um, I knew that in that process he was testing me to see that if I would go the time where I think it was reduced commission or something like that, um, to see how I would respond. And I, I could have sat on my ass and done nothing, but I worked even harder that time where I wasn't getting paid. And all the money that I did make, all the commissions went to Feeding America. So yeah, I, you know, I basically, I hunkered down and I fed 96,000 people that week. So, so pretty, pretty cool. Pretty cool.

32:56 Scott Ingram: So yeah, that's awesome. That's awesome. So Eli, you talked early on about the discipline piece of this. Walk us through your routine. What does your morning routine look like?

33:06 Eli Wilde: You know, it's an interesting question and I'm, I've taken some time away from Tony now. I've taken about a month off from traveling with Tony right now, and I've just been home reinstilling some of these routines. And I think that when you're on the road and when things are so intense, the schedules can be like much like a professional athlete or a professional performer, cuz you're out there every day. And that's, that's what it's like if to re… if you're really doing it at the, at the high level where it's, A lot of people, a lot of money. You wanna be your best. And so I think that you need, it's, it's one thing to have these great healthy 2-hour morning routines and you're doing your meditation and yoga and all that, but you'd have to have these small things that you do, these anchors, these triggers that, that kick you into gear. Um, so I, as general as it sounds, you just have to time block and you need to be able to have a 10-minute version, an hour version, and to to have some non-negotiables. My, my non-negotiables for the week would be things like massage or blocking off some time to do some Egoscue work, some structural alignment work to make sure that I'm in a good physiology and there's good energy flowing through my body. But my morning routines, very sporadic. And still, I wish that I was one of those proponents of like the Miracle Morning. And I definitely believe in it. I think all that stuff is great. And Dave Asprey with his Bulletproof Coffee and all that. And I've done all that and it's great, but I end up, I'm, I'm a night owl. Like I work so much throughout the night and I wake up and I wanna basically wake up about 30 minutes before I need to be somewhere. So I wake up and I take a cold shower. Um, I take some supplements. I have a green smoothie now. I was doing the Bulletproof thing for a while, but I, I don't think it's good for people. Long-term. I think it's some great energy there, but I make sure that I just have some time to connect with myself and I write down goals. And so I have outcomes that I look at every single day. Um, if I have the time, like when I'm home, I have many routines, but I have just, you know, about 20 minutes of things that I do every day that involve writing down goals. Some, and as I do that, I visualize, visualize. And before I do any presentation, I, I have some incantations or I just get myself focused. On some things that I basically the person I want to be and I see things happening the way that I want them to happen. So I think that process has become so conditioned and automatic now and almost doesn't feel like a routine, kind of like brushing your teeth. But there's probably about 30 minutes of things that I do in that context that are just automatic now. I don't even think about doing them.

35:41 Scott Ingram: Well, and what else? I mean, maybe not just the morning, maybe the evening or maybe throughout the day. I think that a lot of us in, in sales, I mean, I'm on the road a good 30, 40, 50% sort of depending. And the travel is the hardest part, especially just maintaining the energy with all of the pressures and kind of time commitments that you've got. What else are you doing to make sure that you're just always at the top of your game?

36:06 Eli Wilde: You know, I cut out alcohol a year ago, but I guess about a year and a half ago I had really like minimized it. But that has been, that has been huge for me. Um, just that. I, and I'm like a big proponent of supplements. I, I have a kinesiology degree and, uh, background and, and a minor in nutrition. And so I'm really big and I think that I've developed such like a, a kinesthetic awareness, uh, of what's happening in my body now. I'm so connected to it. I, I can really feel like when something's off. So that's why I feel like certain portions of it always change based on what I need. But The consistent theme through all that is I do take the time to connect with my body. Um, and so that just revolves, I, I guess you could call it meditation, but it's just, you know, it's just basically sitting in silence for 5 or 10 minutes, um, focusing on your breath every day. I try to do something in nature, um, like going for a walk outside, something like that. But like this morning I got up, I had a meeting this morning and what did I do? I just, I got up and, I stretched. I do about 5 to 10 minutes of yoga, about 20 minutes of Egoscue work, which is structural alignment work, because it's just really powerful, more powerful than yoga by far. But that sets me up to do the yoga and be really just functional. And I feel it gets me feeling like my body is like a weapon, like, and I can move and I've got so much confidence and I just feel this this stability in my structure after I do it. So I make sure that I do some kind of, it could be some really deep, um, uh, what, foam rolling on my IT bands. So I'm always doing something to making sure that I'm flexible and that I've just got like, there's this feeling that I want to have before I attack my day. And so I'm making sure that I do things and it always changes. Sometimes it's more meditation. Um, but I consistently take that time for myself. I put something green in my body every, every morning. Uh, usually it's some kale or some spinach with some blueberries, chia seeds, almond milk, uh, and some, some protein powders. But, uh, I make sure that I have some proper nutrition and, and cold showers have been really big as well. So, so I think those are the 3 biggest things. And if I have the time, um, going back to that concept of visualization, almost every night when I'm home, I do this most nights. Uh, in the morning I do it too. It takes me 6 minutes. I have, uh, I have by my, my bed a projector. You can buy 'em on Amazon for like $100, $200, something like that. Um, just a projector. And I have it synced up with my phone. And inside of iMovie, I have all these pictures of things that I want to create this year. So you could say it's like a vision board, but each picture is only up there for about 0.3 seconds. Some pictures a little bit longer. But I have things I want to buy, um, people that like aspects of my character that I want to develop. I have pictures that remind me all of it. And so for 6 minutes, I have a picture, you know, like a movie going by, and each picture's only about 0.3 seconds. So it's literally hundreds and hundreds of pictures fly by in these 6 minutes, and it's set off to music. And so in the morning and at night, I listen to some motivational music while these pictures are flying by like a movie. So I see maybe 400 pictures go by of things that remind me of this feeling, of this character, this… my income goals. I have them all on this, this like vision board, if you will, this moving vision board. And as I'm watching it, I'm jumping up and down on a rebounder.

39:43 Scott Ingram: I have so many questions. This is awesome. So first, let me go back to… did you… is it Egoscue?

39:48 Eli Wilde: Egoscue. Yeah, Egoscue. It's, uh, he wrote a book called Pain Free in the '70s. But it's best if you can actually have a person work with you, somebody that's trained in that discipline, because it's very… they can just look at you and tell you 100 things about your body that you don't even notice, and it's your body. It's really fascinating.

40:09 Scott Ingram: That is. Eli, how do you spell that?

40:12 Eli Wilde: E-G-O-S-C-U-E. Egoscue.

40:18 Scott Ingram: Perfect. We'll put that in the show notes. And if my numbers are lining up here, you'll be able to find that at top1.fm/sales. 17, I think is the right number. If not, just go to top1.fm and look for Eli. So that was one question. The other one was what… give us some specifics, like what does your supplement regimen look like?

40:38 Eli Wilde: You know, I'm actually… because I'm doing this whole different thing on my digestive system now. I have a doctor actually like test me once a month right now. I've been taking a break from it, so I've probably taken a year off of this. So I've been bad, but I'm getting tested every month now. So I'm taking a lot of adrenal supplements. Um, I'm taking some, a myriad of different oils, um, which are really good. I take basically everything is for digestion. I'm kind of, I put everything in a pillbox, so I don't even have like the most of the bottles anymore, but I, I'm healing my gut. A lot of people have leaky gut, so I'm taking a ton of probiotics, things around that. Oh, and I forgot something that I, that I do that's in my routine. Like I said, it's, it's just, it's so second nature to me now. And I learned This, this thing that I do, it's just a checklist of, of certain things, certain habits that I do every day. So I have a checklist of certain things that I, that I want to basically instill inside of my life every day. And I learned it from a guy named Nick Sarnacola. He's partnered with Ryan Blair, who is, uh, they own ViSalus. Um, and now Nick is the CEO of the company ViSalus. And so he's, uh, he's just got a system for what he calls the, the art of desire. And it's goal mastery. And so I've got certain goals that I have this year. And so I make sure that I don't… I write down the goals every morning, but in the evening I look at the habits. So it's really important for anybody out there, um, this concept that it's great to focus on your goals, but all goals are supported by habits or rituals. And so, so many people focus on just the goals. But the, the goal is an illusion. The goal is a dream unless it's supported, unless it has a strong foundation of habits. If somebody says they, you know, wanna be in great shape, but they wanna sleep in, you know, and, and eat Cheetos all day and, you know, and watch, do whatever they do, not moving their body there, it's, it's a dream. And so what habits have to support that getting in the best shape? It's, you know, maybe looking at every day, it's like, What was my nutrition like? Scale of 1 to 10. Um, and you can get really refined on that. Green smoothies, obviously one of mine. Um, did I move today? Breathing, meditation, whatever it is, but having some habits that support the goal. And so I've got a list of, I think it's like, if I look at it right now, I think it's like 17 habits. I have goal cards, like in my home, I have goal cards everywhere. And like in my, my car, when I have one, I actually don't even have a car right now. Between cars, you could say. But in my bathroom, everywhere, I have my goals everywhere. And then before I go to bed, I have, I don't even know how many of these, maybe 20 habits, 17, 18, 19, 20 habits, something like that. And I look at them every day and I rate myself on a scale of 1 to 10 on how well I did to fulfill that habit that day.

43:32 Scott Ingram: Give us some examples. I mean, choose a couple of the goals and a couple of the habits that you're willing to share.

43:38 Eli Wilde: Um, well, I got my financial goals. I got some health goals. Um, I got some, some stuff, some partnership goals, you could say. Um, I got a seminar coming up, so filling that. I've got, you know, like my top 11 goals. Um, some different things I wanna do in social media. I wanna finish my book this year. So I basically make sure that a lot of it's just health and fitness goals really, and then income goals. So they're all things that relate to business, um, and, and health right now. So those are all my goals. And then I've got, Blocking off time, ideally daily, to build my own personal brand. Um, movement, flexibility, just nutrition stuff, water. I, I put broccoli, live foods. I eat broccoli every day. Like broccoli is like, it's the best food. Um, working. So I have put working out and I have working in and working in it. And is meditation, priming, prayer. Um, I make sure that every day I empower somebody. Or I coach somebody. I make sure that I'm prospecting, presenting, or closing something every day. I put down here, a habit is hardest working person in the room. And it makes me reflect back on my day. Was I the hardest working person working in the room today? And I've definitely been in rooms where I was not. And I look at that like, why was that? And see what shifts I need to make. Self-love, been really big on the whole self-love thing this year. Uh, taking a lot of extra time for myself. And that could be having somebody work on me or just taking time to like treat myself right. And even how I communicate with myself, I journal. Um, I quit being frugal, which was one of Benjamin Franklin's. So I figured if it works for him, it could work for me. And I've been very good at making money in my life. Um, not as good at saving it. I've, I've definitely, you know, I'm good financially, but I love to spend money. So I'm, I'm working on this year being Being a bit more frugal. Um, I, I took it… one of them was just a quote from, uh, one of the things Winston Churchill… take charge. You know, if you want to be a leader, take charge. There's that indecisive moment when there's a challenge or people want to go to lunch and people are like, what do you want to do? I just… I always just take charge. Uh, so I look back on that and, um, some things, and then just some other things that relate to my character… being compassionate, Listening, making sure that before I respond to somebody, that making them feel heard, like I got it. So I just got lots of things around my communication, and most of them are just character habits.

46:06 Scott Ingram: Very cool. And you said that your, your vision movie plays with motivational music. What is that? What's your background music?

46:17 Eli Wilde: Well, if you go to YouTube, there is a video, it's called Potential. It's just motivational video potential. It's mostly Les Brown speaking. And, and there's a little bit of Tony Robbins in there. I think there's a little bit of like 50 Cent. This thing is like, it is the best. And there's some things that Les Brown says in there that, oh my God, this, this just, it just grips your soul. It's just like, oh my God. It just, he just nails it. And, uh, it's, it's an 8-minute long thing. And then when I get up in the morning and I go for a walk or whenever I have time, I listen to this thing like every day, um, for about a year now, I guess about a year coming up on a year. I listened to this one track, uh, every single day. Yeah. It's just, it's called Potential, um, Motivational Video. It's just Potential.

47:09 Scott Ingram: Perfect. We'll link it up. We'll link it up for sure. So Eli, beyond your own motivational movie, you're watching a couple of times a day, what does the rest of your information diet look like? What are you reading? What are you listening to? What are you watching?

47:22 Eli Wilde: It's interesting. I wrote a book like 2 years ago and I've never… I've finished it several times, but it just being a perfectionist, it just sat there. And I told some friends recently about the concept and they were just like, you have to get this out there. This is also one of the things that I think that has helped me become successful Is like even information that I consume, I consume it strategically. People are like, oh, you need to go to this course. I'm like, well, what's the point? That course, you know, it might be on marketing or sales. I, it might be something that, you know, it's very exciting and it's new information, or I'm reading something. There's all these Facebook advertisements and the marketing and the copy is written so well. It's so hard for me because I love buying stuff. I just like wanna buy it all. And I used to buy everything and I, you know, I wouldn't consume any of it. So now I'm very strategic in what I consume and everything that I consume is, is to a point. And going back to the point that I was starting to make about my book, um, people often ask me like, Eli, in 2010, you were like, doctors were telling me that I, I could die. My health was that bad. And you're, you turn around everything financially. You create this thing with Tony, like you do all this thing. Like how'd you turn it all around? And I go back to those principles a lot and I'm kind of in that phase right now. Where, uh, the, the concept is called THN. And when I do come out with my book, it'll be called THN. It's, it's not gonna come out anytime soon, but it's, uh, T-H-N, which stands for Transforming Human Nature. And we live in a consumer society. We consume books, we consume food, we consume information. Um, you know, we consume, we're consumers, but the most successful people in the world don't just consume things. They, they're producers. And so this, that process of what I'm going through now and the most productive times in my life, I think about not consuming things, but I think about producing things. And everything that I do consume is only set me up to be more productive or to produce more. And that goes down from how I eat, how I sleep, um, to how I communicate, how I structure my day. Um, everything has an outcome. And so that whole process, I mean, I, I, I had it when 2010, I had to cut people outta my life cuz they wanted to party or drink, or they were just energy vampires. So I basically just thinned everything out. Um, and that allowed me to focus on, you know, the, the I, um, this T-H-I-N versus T-H-N. Um, you know, I sometimes I took myself out of the equation and I got focused on my mission. Sometimes I, I put the I back in and I focus solely on myself to, to heal myself. But that, that moving component was a big factor in my success. So weekly, um, right now I'm part of like 3 masterminds. So I try based on just the information that I've paid for, Um, and it's true what they say, when people pay, they pay attention. Uh, so I, I don't consume any information that's low value. I enjoy spending lots of money on, um, on, on my self-development and coaching. So I've got some coaches that I work with. Um, and so that's pretty much everything that I do is, is context-specific, uh, right now. And it revolves, um, building my own brand, It involves basically building out courses is what I'm focused on right now.

50:28 Scott Ingram: Very cool. And are there any tools or apps on your phone that you just can't live without?

50:36 Eli Wilde: You know, something I did a year ago that's maybe a little out of context is this, maybe 2 years ago, this Acorns app. So for every time you're spending money, it rounds up stuff and you start to create this bank. And I throw money in it all the time. But I just, you know, I'd like to think about my wealth increasing constantly. So that's one. I've got a sleep cycle app that I use. It helps put me to sleep. Um, you know, I'm not huge, like a lot of people are really big on the app stuff. I, uh, trying to think which ones do I actually use? Facebook, obviously we're using Salesforce all the time. I'm, uh, I'm a little bit ancient when it comes to all that stuff. I, I use a journal for everything. I write down everything. Um, but yeah, I guess I, I look at my bank, like I look at how much money I have every day and I have Mint. Um, so I, I like every day I, I look at how much money I have and I think about my net worth increasing. Um, so I'm, I'm not attached to it, but even when I was working with Tony, like I said, I didn't focus on the numbers, but if you're a sales… if you, if you're good at sales, you, you kind of do. I, I knew they would always be there, but I always wanted to see what was going on. I, I wanted to know where I was at. So I just, I kind of check in. And so I feel like I've got different ways to kind of check in with myself in my journal. So not so much apps, but there's one I'm looking at that is called Strides that we might start actually using to map out all of my habits. But yeah, nothing particular comes to mind.

52:02 Scott Ingram: Cool. Nothing particular, but you listed a few, so that's good.

52:05 Eli Wilde: Thanks.

52:08 Scott Ingram: So Eli, do you, Would you say that you subscribe to a particular sales philosophy? Hmm.

52:15 Eli Wilde: You know, it's the… honestly, the people that have had the biggest impact, you know, a guy named Kevin Nations. Are you familiar with him?

52:25 Scott Ingram: I can't say that I am.

52:28 Eli Wilde: He has a mastermind that he does. I think it's like $75,000 to join. And it's for a lot of like high-end coaches, things like that, that teach… he teaches the group model. He had partnered with Frank Kern, Um, years ago when they created this, this kind of like course, this mastermind. But, uh, you know, everybody knows Frank Kern, but, but Kevin's definitely the genius behind it. So the structure of the talk, you know, he created a process called RAPID. Uh, it's research, setting an agenda. Uh, the, the P is creating the pain. I is basically how you investigate or expand the pain to other areas of their life. And then D is decision. So it's kind of leading people through that process, but really you're just, you're doing some research, so you're emotionally invested. You set the agenda for the call. So you set the frame, as Oren Klaff would say in Pitch Anything, which I think is a great book, by the way. So it's creating a connection, it's setting a frame, it's coming in as someone who's diagnosing, not demonstrating. And so you can come in with your product or your service and think like, oh my God, this is so great. And like demonstrating value, it's like me saying to you, hey, look how good I am. Look at my nice car and look at my nice house. It's great that I have that, but I'm putting myself in an inferior position because I'm trying to prove to you my worth. I'm trying to prove to you the worth of my product or service. But when you're in a superior frame and you've got to take that role sometimes, you come in there with this strategy of preeminence. That your stuff is the best and you're only gonna accept the best for your clients. So you come in there with this authoritative kind of tone where you're friendly, but you know your stuff and you go in there not demonstrating value, but diagnosing problems. The analogy I break down for people is that if you went to a doctor and you had a brain tumor and you've done your research, and this is the best brain doctor in the world, he's not gonna start, you know, telling you about his degrees and how smart he is and what kind of car he drives and, and all this stuff he'd be demonstrating value. That would be ridiculous. He would just, you know, he would ask you, where does it hurt? How long have you had the problem? He would start diagnosing your problems. And the key is to really ask. And I learned this from Tony. So there's been so many people I've learned from, but Tony keeps people engaged. Tony, you know, and I would, if I was doing a presentation where, um, I had more of a clear outcome for the end, if I wanted somebody to do something, I would create seeds throughout my presentation. And I guess I, I learned some of that from Lisa Sasevich, how to seed. Um, Tony's so good. The great thing about Tony and about really studying underneath of him was listening to how he asked questions. And so questions control focus. And right now I could ask everybody on, you know, listen here. So I could ask 'em about their shoes or their mom or the best day of their life or the worst day of their life. And whatever I start asking you about, um, I could even say, hey, I asked myself this question. But if you, if I ask myself the question, you start asking everybody yourself because the mind is always looking for something to focus on. And so by asking really, um, well-planted questions at the right time, you can create people's, you can change somebody's focus. You can get their attention to focus somewhere where you want it, and you can change what they're currently focusing on, focusing on something else. And whatever we focus on consistently will produce a feeling. And so I've kind of taken all the structure from a lot of different people, but I'd have to say Kevin Nations, Um, Lee McIntyre helped me out a lot with that, really understanding the structure. Jesse Elder, uh, you know, another guy, he's like a spiritual selling kind of guy. But a lot of these guys helped me with the framework. And then Tony really helped me with just connecting with people, connecting to my own certainty and asking certain questions, but not just asking questions to fill space, not asking questions to elicit a response, but really asking questions to create an emotional connection between me the person and my product and service. So creating anchors, like using some of the NLP, um, I studied with a guy named Steve Linder who's really just got me to understand at a very high level what's happening inside of the structures, the belief structures inside of somebody's mind as they're listening to me or as they're answering me. So to just understand what the process is, what's happening inside of somebody's… a human being. So there's been so many teachers that I've had It's hard for me to give credit to just one. So at this point it's just become amalgam. But all that, the undercurrent, the foundation for all that has just been a deep, deep curiosity, you could say, for what drives human beings. You know, and I think I picked some of that up from learning, but even when I was a kid, I was a really quiet kid. I didn't speak very much, but I was just really curious as to why people do the things they do. And I wasn't attached to, you know, I definitely cared if people bought my stuff, But even if somebody said no, I was just, I was genuinely curious. I'd say, well, you know what? Why? And it wasn't like, why not? Like if they'd ever got this feeling like I was trying to manipulate them or make them feel bad for not buying, I was genuinely curious. And, um, and sometimes I would get some ammunition for my next call, or sometimes I would turn that person around because it would be some little teeny thing. So, um, I think that was, that's, that's kind of it. There's our, A lot of names there of people that I've studied, but listening to the questions that Tony asks and scripting them out and using some of them at the right time have been really beneficial.

57:52 Scott Ingram: Yeah. What's your most favorite question? Wow.

57:56 Eli Wilde: It depends on where we're at. And I do so much now at this point just on feel. I'm trying to think, like if I was in a presentation and I've scripted so many of these out, It's amazing I'm not able to think of one of these offhand, but let me think here really quick. I think the question where I really see people change is when I really guide somebody through an experience and then I just ask them the question when they've created some pain and I can see that they're not comfortable. I ask them, how much longer is this going to be okay? Or how much longer do you want to stay exactly where you're at? How much longer is it going to be cool for you to keep on doing exactly what you're doing. And I say it without judgment. And people say, well, not another minute. And I said, what do you plan to do about it? And I, you know, I'm almost like I'm pushing back. I'm not… most people at that point say, hey, well, here's my, my fancy shiny thing. I ask questions that create space. And there's, there's a lot of books talk about this concept. It's high intention, low attachment. H-I-L-A, high intention, low attachment. So I'm just, I'm authentically having a, you know, a conversation with somebody. But I am guiding them and I am putting them in pain. You know, I, I'm attaching pain to their situation for real, uh, for, for sure. And, and also showing them how they could have pleasure by doing something different. And I'll ask them like, so what do you plan to do about this? And they'll usually say something like, um, well, that's, that's why I feel, you know, that's why I'm talking to you. Or that's, that's why I feel so lucky that you're here today. You know, so they, so they've given me, before I get into the close, I'm setting up the close. And I start to ask questions around scale of 1 to 10, how much more money do you think you could make if you had this? And so I get them… so I ask questions that are always putting a number on, like I'm monetizing the pain. What would that be worth to you if you were to overcome this? So I ask lots of questions around that as it gets deeper into the process. But I think a couple of the questions I ask too, just unconsciously that are coming to my mind is, When I get people on the phone, I might ask stuff like, why now? Why me? So I take… they're coming in there to the conversation thinking that I'm going to demonstrate my value and try to sell them something. But I just completely take charge and ask them, why now? Why me? Why? And so basically I'm just edifying myself and I'm like, why now? What's going on with you? So I put myself in a superior frame. You know, if you get pulled over by a policeman or you go to court or anything like that, they're gonna ask you questions. And whoever asks the questions, uh, is, is controlling the frame. So I just, I ask real simple questions, um, that get people associated to the reality of their life. And I shine the light on areas of their life that they might've been lying to themselves about. And I do that in an authoritative way, but I do it a lot just with my tone of voice. And I, I think people get a sense that I care.

1:00:51 Scott Ingram: And you're almost going there. I'm curious about how you would describe your style through that process or just in general.

1:01:00 Eli Wilde: Through my style, I guess. I think just some of the things that I have in my habits, I'm willing to work harder than everybody else and I'm looking to gain from the situation. I want to make everything win-win. So I think that it just, all that just comes through that I really care. And, um, and I, and I believe the stuff that I have can really help people. And so I think that really it's like the, the style comes to being somebody that's like a heartfelt explorer. And the, the analogy that I, I teach a lot of my clients is like, when you go into a sales call, it's kind of like digging for treasure. And so you can be a curious explorer out there every day. And the, the, the story, the actual analogy that I, that I bring this off of is a, a story that Tony tells at Business Mastery. Um, about this guy. I forget the guy's name, but he's a, he's basically a, a guy living off the coast, um, just on the coast of Florida, down, down south around the Keys. And he hears about this treasure that's out there in the ocean and he goes searching for it. And he, you know, gets some funding. He buys a boat. He, you know, has a whole crew and they go out there and they're like, we're gonna find this freaking treasure. And years go by of searching every single day and they don't find the treasure. His wife leaves him. His, you know, goes through all of his money. He gets investors involved. You know, he goes through all their money. He, you know, has kids. Everybody thinks he's crazy. You know, his kids don't even talk to him. He's just the crazy guy after a few years. And then he keeps on going out there. He gets more funding and, you know, goes through another wife and more people think he's crazy. It's, you know, year after year after year convincing people to give him money to fund this thing ends up taking him 16 years. Of going out there. And then eventually, obviously, you know, he finds the treasure and it's a true story. And he, you know, it's like $50 million worth of gold he finds. And so the, the 3 things to learn from that, that really go into this explorative style is one, he believed that there was treasures there. And so when we look at our, our calendar, we look at our, you know, our contact list. When we look at our friends on Facebook, whenever it is, we have to believe that there's, that there's gold there. To believe that there's buried treasure there that some people may have overlooked. And we have to believe that there's treasure in people, there's treasure in conversations. And it's very hard to pull out of sometimes, you know, certain people or certain companies or certain days, but there's always treasure there. This guy searched for it for 16 years. So the first thing is you have to believe that it's there. Second, you have to believe that you can find it. So you might believe, he might believe that the treasure's actually there, But if you don't believe that you can find it, it's different. So somebody's like, oh, there's a, you know, everybody's got a yes inside them. But if you don't feel like you can get it out, then you're not gonna persist. And the third thing that must happen is this, you have to believe that it's worth it. So the 3 things that develop somebody's style is that they're, you know, in, in my opinion, is believing that you're an explorer and that there's treasure in those contacts. There's treasure in this meeting. There's buried treasure there. It may be really hard to find out, to get it out of people, but it's, it's there. You can find it and it's worth it because it might take a lot of hard work. So you have to believe that it's really there. So I think finding that treasure has become my style.

1:04:19 Scott Ingram: And keep going with, with the belief thing. I'm curious, is there something that you believe that the average sales professional would think is crazy?

1:04:28 Eli Wilde: Hmm. I believe every no person has a yes person inside of them. Uh, I, I believe that we're all just here to learn and grow. And I think that life is pretty, pretty amazing experience. We're all just, you know, on this, you know, on this globe, you know, going through space and infinity. And, you know, and people often ask me questions like, what do you think the purpose of life is? And I think the purpose of life is to evolve and we're all evolving in some way. And so I see everything that I do as the evolution of myself. And I think that, Even when you look at people today like Elon Musk and, you know, some of these, Tony Robbins, in my opinion, people that are literally changing the way that we think and feel and interact and communicate and technology and how we travel and, and all this stuff. It's, it's fascinating. And I think that, um, what I have and what I'm giving people is an opportunity to evolve. And so for me, when I'm having that conversation, I'm not attached to it, but for me, like, this is going to further the evolution of your company. This is going to further the evolution of your family. It will give you more choice to do more of what you want if you basically buy what I have for you. This will upgrade your life. And so you get to experience a better reality through learning these concepts that I want to teach you and ingraining this, not just to have canned speeches, but to really ingrain something where it's part of you, where you own it. And I think that living that Um, and people can feel that. And the, one of the quotes, I have 2 quotes on my wall. And, and one of them is, is by Emerson. It's, you know, who you, who you are speaks so loudly, I cannot even hear what you say. And so I, I think what separated me from a lot of the other salespeople is, um, within Tony's company was that, you know, I, it was in me. And so beyond the words, it was just in me. And about a year working into working for Tony's company, actually it was less than a year, maybe 6 months in. I was, I was, I was the new kid on the block when I started with this company. And we were in Denver, Colorado at one of the sales guys' house. And, you know, it's everybody's drinking beer. It's the weekend. Everybody's hanging out and kind of blowing off steam. And, you know, and everybody, all these speakers and trainers and coaches and everything, they all thought they were going to get mentorship from Tony. Tony's a busy guy. Like Tony's coached 4 American presidents and You know, they thought we were gonna be hanging out with them all the time and there was none of that. And so some guys were kind of let down and I ended up leaving the room and going to the bathroom, taking a phone call, something like that. And from the time that I left the room to when I came back in, it had turned into a badmouth the company, uh, conversation, like in a really negative way. And then one guy spoke up and he started to badmouth Tony. And as soon as he did it, You just heard, hey, like this, like really hard, like boom. Like, and everybody just like turned and looked at me and I said, you don't talk bad about Tony Robbins. And so I, I share that story because I, I believed in the product so much. And I don't know if that answers your question specifically, but I, I think that really ingraining it. So it was just in me. And we often talk about when you look at NLP or any of the behavioral sciences out there, a lot of them are just, uh, They're, you know, at the deep core, we're all conditioned. You can condition a dog. You can condition a human being. We're all conditioned by media. We're all being conditioned all the time and we're not aware of it. So we need to take conscious control of our own minds, advertise inside of our own minds and our own conditioning. And so that conditioning process, you know, you learn to love the training and the training never stops. It's just like some people love working to the… working, you know, out at the gym. Some people love training their minds and emotions and training your mind and emotions isn't just reading books. Is actually doing things because you're making yourself stronger. So I, you know, go back to that quote constantly, who you are speaks so loudly, I can't even hear what you say. So sometimes I came into deals and where other speakers had come in and tried to pitch the same thing, and I came in and I signed up the entire company is because it was in me. And going back to that, that analogy of conditioning, you know, being quite somewhat Pavlovian, you know, it's stimulus response. And that's what a lot of NLP is based off of, neurolinguistic programming. It's using words to elicit certain responses in somebody's neurology. Like they feel something different based on the linguistics of what you say. You can condition people. And so if who we are speaks so loudly that some people can't even hear what I say, I would go in to make sure that it's in me. And so when I got the stimulus, my response was positive. And going back to the tool that I use the most to really understand, and the tool that I teach the most is Tony's Triad. It's based on the fact that People do things for emotional reasons, and then they justify it logically. So getting people into that emotional state is what he's been so good at. And emotions are created by 3 patterns. One is what we focus on, and we can change somebody's focus with questions. 2, we can change patterns of language and meaning. Nothing has any meaning except for the meaning that we give it. So we can reframe problems, we can reframe somebody's meaning to create a more empowered meaning. And then third, we can change their physiology. So I come in there with a strong physiology, and my belief in me is that my certainty is so strong, my certainty will overcome their doubt. And so when I get a stimulus, most people looking at the triad… if I had it here, I'd show it to you, but it's a pattern, it's a triangle with a pattern of focus, pattern of physiology, pattern of language and meaning. When most salespeople hear a no, they have a pattern of language and meaning. The no stimulus gives them response. The meaning that they make, they make it mean something big about them, bad about themselves. They make it mean something bad about the client. They make it mean something bad about, you know, God's punishing me. So they have a pattern of language and meaning. So the, the concept here is that nothing has any meaning except for the meaning that we give it. So when we have a stimulus as like a no, we get to choose our responses. And most people become conditioned by fear and anxiety and stress. So I make sure that even somebody could say to me, Eli, pardon my French, but fuck you. And I would not have a negative response to it. And so there's nothing… I've created no disempowering meanings. So my triad is so strong and because I've worked so hard on my triad, creating empowering meetings, I'm making sure that I'm asking myself positive questions, I'm focused in a positive way, and I'm in a strong physiology. I know that nobody in the room has done that kind of work at the level that I have. So I'm conditioned. I'm the most certain person in the room. And I don't care if I go into a room where people got hundreds of millions of dollars and they, they own the freaking skyscraper. You know, I know that they didn't do the work that I did, you know, for that long. And maybe they did. And if so, they'll be my friend. You know, but I'm going in there and I'm just so conditioned and I just feel like it's done before it even starts. And that's what people buy. People don't buy your product or service, they buy feelings. And they're doing things for emotional reasons. And all sales is, is a transference of emotion. And so there's an emotion inside of that person that gets to… like I said, your words don't even matter so much because of who you are. So who we are is predicated by our values and our emotions. That's how people associate you. So I go in there in such a a caring, loving, certain state, and people end up buying me. I would sell people where they didn't even know who Tony Robbins was back then. Now everybody knows who he is, but they didn't buy Tony. I knew they were buying me. And so most people in their presentations would edify themselves by edifying Tony. They'd be like, oh, Tony's worked with this president, and I'm the top trainer for Tony, or I've done 3,000 presentations, and they would edify themselves, which is good to do. And edify Tony, which is good to do, but I wanted to shine the spotlight on the people and on their problems. And so it became about creating an emotional response out of them in that moment and anchoring that to the event, to what I wanted them to do. And people felt… people that are very good at sales and NLP, they got a sense of what I was doing on a technical aspect, but they also felt that I was doing it for the right reason. Motive matters. And so I think that before we do any presentation, we need to create that space within ourself to make sure that we're really showing up in the right way.

1:12:38 Scott Ingram: Love it. Eli, from a motivation perspective, I mean, what motivates all of this for you, or how do you think about motivation in general?

1:12:47 Eli Wilde: I'm not too big on the motivation stuff. And it's funny, Tony, it's the one question that…

1:12:55 Scott Ingram: The biggest misperception about Tony, right? Drives him nuts.

1:12:58 Eli Wilde: He did it, you know, he just did a launch for his book. And so I know a lot of people that interviewed him and they were asking me questions about how to interview him, uh, you know, beforehand. And, you know, some funny, some funny, uh, conversations came outta that. But, uh, you know, it's, people are always trying to interrupt his, his pattern, if you will. And, um, yeah, it's just, it's, it's like this whole concept of motivation. I, I think, who was it? Uh, Mel Robbins, no relation to Tony Robbins, but she did something on this 5-second rule. That I thought was really profound. I listened to it a while back and I kind of subscribed to the same thing. But long story short, with Tony, all these people, they tell me that the one question that they can't ask… there's a few questions they can't ask, but one of them is don't refer to him as a motivational speaker and don't ask him about motivational speaking. So it's funny, that's what he's kind of known for, but that's the last thing. He's more of a strategist. And so I just subscribe to the same… more philosophy than motivation. I believe that there's going to be a lot of days where I don't feel like it. And, you know, as we constantly say within Tony's organization, is it's not to negotiate with your mind. Your mind wants to keep you exactly where you're at. And so as soon as you hear that voice that's telling you to stay somewhere, that, that's, that is, that's a 2-million-year-old brain that's conditioned you for survival. Um, not about progress, not about evolution. I mean, we're all evolving, but really when you hear that voice, you have to realize it's that, that voice of reason will, will keep you stuck. And so I think that it has to be beyond motivation. It has to be conditioning. When you look at the best athletes, they're well conditioned. When you look at the, the best thinkers, in my opinion, they've conditioned their mind. There, there's some way that they think there's some conditioning process and the training never stops. So I think I will choose discipline and training over motivation every day. Yes, you do need to have a vision and the vision is part of what motivates you. But motivation says that I need to rely on my feelings. You know, it's where discipline says, screw my feelings. You know, it's like, I, if I show up and I'm motivated, it's great. But I've done, you know, I've done over 3,000 seminars for Tony and I can guarantee you a lot of those days it was not like, yay, another seminar. Yay, another sales presentation. It's like, man, I'm tired, but I'm gonna show up for these people cuz my commitment is that I do my best and I show up with my best every single day. So I think that just becomes habitual at some point.

1:15:14 Scott Ingram: Yeah, awesome. Well, speaking of great questions and prepping for conversations with Tony, I'm curious, what would you want to know? What's the question you would ask of other top sellers who are in the number one spot in their respective sales organizations?

1:15:30 Eli Wilde: Oh, you know, it's like, it's interesting because I do these presentations for Tony and I, I sometimes I do them for real estate companies or, um, you know, very, very people making millions of dollars sometimes where I do these presentations and I'm, I'm selling them and I sell the people that are the hardest to sell cuz I'm selling salespeople and I've seen some very, very successful. And you know, it's like a lot of them at this point come to me for advice, but the interesting thing is I've gotten all the advice from them. And seeing exactly what they do behind the scenes. And it, it's amazing. They're so professional the way they dress. Um, I didn't, you know, I, I didn't really do any of that. I, when I would do my presentations, I quit wearing a suit, uh, years ago. Um, so I've kind of evolved it and I think that I've just created like an authentic connection and some of it, you know, I've done well enough financially now where I really, I really am not there to show up. Um, I'm not trying to impress anybody. So I think that's created some authentic connection. I think with sales, I guess the question I would ask people… are you asking what kind of question would I ask salespeople or influencers or somebody in specific?

1:16:46 Scott Ingram: Salespeople. So essentially what I'm looking for is, is there a question I'm not asking that I should be asking?

1:16:53 Eli Wilde: Hmm. You know, it's interesting. I'm doing this event in next month. Uh, and my buddy, um, the one that I talk to probably the most about sales is my buddy James Swanwick. He's, um, we're having Tai Lopez, who you might know, uh, speak, and then Keith Ferrazzi, um, who are really great influencers. And James was the head of sales for, um, for Tai, but he is a… he was an ESPN anchor. He's a huge networker. So I think the the question that I haven't been asked, and I think one of the, the main questions that I ask revolve around maintaining relationships and deep connections with the right people. Because, you know, at the end of the day, you can't talk to everybody all the time. And so there's got to be like this almost like weeding out process, and you just can't do it all, you know, whether it's clients or prospects or mentors or peers. It's just It's just so much. And one of the things that I wish that I had done better would be like build a list and create a better CRM. I've, I've been terrible with that. Um, you know, I, I know that Tony's just now doing it after 38 years. I mean, he's, he's obviously got a database, but, um, they, they're really putting a lot of energy into it now. So right now, all my questions and focus revolve around that piece, um, because of my My friendships and my social network. I've never needed to rely on that, and I've always done really well just with a few connections of people on my phone. But I wish that I had maintained it a lot more. I wish I had built something, and now I'm focused on that piece. So my questions for salespeople would be, how do you maintain a large database? Um, maybe it's building a list or something like that, but how do you just… how do you do that? So I, I would have a lot of questions around that, um, how to structure it, creating the content. Is it something that can be outsourced? Um, that, that would be my focus right now.

1:18:46 Scott Ingram: Yeah. Great, great question. And we'll have to get you introduced to my friends at Nudge, because I think that's a big challenge that they are actively trying to solve and having some pretty good success. It's a, it's an interesting model that they have.

1:18:57 Eli Wilde: Nice. Very cool.

1:19:00 Scott Ingram: So I like to ask who the best sales professional you know personally is. And, um, I think we're probably going to want to go to the second person on your list just by my, my gut guess of what you're, first answer might be.

1:19:14 Eli Wilde: My buddy Roberto Monaco, he's my best friend, but when it comes to relationships, he's amazing. The first 5 years I knew Roberto, he was the best man in, I think, 9 people's weddings. If it says anything about his character, I mean, he's this fun-loving Brazilian guy. When he got married a couple years ago, I think he had either 11 or 13 groomsmen. I got to be one of the groomsmen. Uh, and then his business partner, Jeff, is his, his best friend. He did like the speech and all that, but 2 amazing guys. But Roberto is such a, such an amazing guy. Um, he's somebody that I've learned so much of, you know, so much, you know, from. He, he was the sales trainer for Tony when I first started working there, but I saw like his numbers were always killer. He managed the team. He created his own consulting company. He was doing his own seminars and he just kept it all together. And he had a relationship, taking care of his mom, buying properties. So he's been the person that I think that I've just learned the most from. And a lot of it's been just his character. He really loves people so much. And I think that's it. People just love Roberto. And I think he's somebody that I've learned a lot from outside of Tony, for sure.

1:20:27 Scott Ingram: Nice. And you said that you had 2 quotes on the wall. One was Emerson. What's the other one?

1:20:32 Eli Wilde: Uh, by a guy named Emmet Fox. Uh, he wrote, uh, if you could only love enough, you could be the most powerful person in the world.

1:20:39 Scott Ingram: I love it. Very cool. So Eli, the way that I try and wrap these things up is with something really actionable. So if you were to craft, and if you need a minute to think about that or talk it through, that's fine. But if you were to create some type of a challenge for the person listening to this, something that they can do as an action right now, Um, that they can work on for the next, call it 1 to 2 weeks, not something like super prolonged. What should they do to improve themselves, to improve their sales results?

1:21:11 Eli Wilde: Well, I think creating masterminds, the easiest thing that's available now, and I just did it recently. Again, I wish I'd done this a long time ago, was create a Facebook group where you test different content on people. And, you know, you need to build something that's your own, your own brand, you know, whether it's writing a book, Um, putting a course out there, it edifies your brand so much to have, you know, a list, um, something that you're creating an exchange with. So out of all the learning that you're doing, all the content consumption and all your life lessons, you have a place to train them, you know, to teach people this stuff. And I remember, um, I'm going through, I'm writing my own book right now, like going back through and finalizing it. And I remember one of the things that really triggered me is reading, um, Zig Ziglar's book. And he said, writing that book, he said that he… it's the most profitable thing that he has ever done in his life. And he said that would be true if he had never sold one copy. The reason was it forced him to organize his thinking. It forced him to journal down his thoughts, to edit them. And when you see a great speaker like, you know, obviously a Tony Robbins, Zig Ziglar, Les Brown, a lot of them they speak and they have things transcribed, and then they go back through and they edit, and then they rehearse and condition that. You hear, you see Tony Robbins, you know, I remember being so blown away at Tony's event the first time, and then I went to second, third, fourth, you know, 30th time. It's the same stories and he says them the same way. They're rehearsed. These guys are kind of like, I don't want to say actors, but they've definitely got certain pieces, content pieces that are very conditioned. You can only do that with one, developing your own philosophy. And for if you're starting out or you haven't thought about this, you're gonna have to develop your philosophy off of other people's philosophies initially. Like Tony took from Jim Rohn, Tony took from NLP, um, you know, John Green, a lot of different people. So you start to absorb some other philosophies, but you need to create your own. And you can very easily now with like a Facebook group or something like that teach your philosophy so you can really get good at communicating your philosophy and your core concepts, and then you can create an offer on how to sell your stuff. So that's, that's, those are the 2 pieces, to create your own brand and your own philosophy, but, and then to create community. And the first thing you want to do is create community, being in a Facebook group where you have a place to share ideas, but it's got to be something that's your own. And Just consistently put your own content out there and and to test things. So I think that would be the the challenge that I would give to people right away.

1:23:49 Scott Ingram: Nice. Well, I'm a big fan of that challenge because it's one of the things that I'm doing. We've created a sales success community with the help of our sponsor Influitive. And Eli, one of the things I try and do… it's a free community, really for this audience… or a place that we can connect and and continue the learning from these conversations. And I try and put some really valuable content in there. There that's not available anywhere else. And I'd like to ask, would you be willing to share maybe a chapter of, of your book, uh, with, with this audience? Sure, sure.

1:24:21 Eli Wilde: Yeah, when I, when I get some things done, I'll put it in there. And I've got some other content pieces that I'll, that I'll give you for sure.

1:24:27 Scott Ingram: Awesome. So we'll get some great stuff from Eli for you guys to dig a little bit deeper. Eli, this conversation has been great. If you guys want to get into that community, all you have to do is get on the mailing list, and as soon as you do that, you'll get an invite with the The super secret link. So if you go to top one dot fm, or if you're in the U.S., if you text top one, that's the number one T.O.P. the number one to four four four nine nine nine. That'll get you there in the same way. Eli, this has been so fantastic. I wish we could keep going, but I've got to go pick up a cheerleader. So thanks so much, and I hope we can do it again sometime.

1:25:00 Eli Wilde: Awesome. Sounds good. Looking forward. Thanks for listening to the Sales Success Stories podcast. To be sure you never miss an episode, and for an invitation to our Sales Success Community powered by Influitive, subscribe to our newsletter at top1.fm.